And then my half marathon got cancelled.

I've been in search of motivation lately. Maybe not motivation per se, but perhaps some extra time to do the workouts I'm craving. It's been two weeks since my last long run (and by long, I mean 8 miles), I can't remember the last time I made it to hot yoga and I just feel like I've been so busy rushing from one place to another that I haven't been able to spend as much time training for the half as I should be. I know. White girl problems.

But the half was what kept me going. The promise of a race that I loved last year, one that was well organized, had a great course and required the smallest amount of travel I will ever have for an event (a walk of 10 blocks to the start/finish line). Something that would remind me why I liked running, and would keep me motivated through a long winter of running through the snow (and more often than not, on the treadmill).

Fast forward to Friday morning, when my alarm turned out to be a text message from my mom: "Your half marathon is cancelled." Uhhh what? Sure enough, I checked out the website and there was nothing but a "We're sorry, we'll be in touch regarding refunds, etc". Beyond frustrating.

I've tried looking for another race at a similar time, or just a longer race that I can squeeze in before the end of the year, but no such luck. So I'm back at square one. In search of motivation, and trying to re-commit to training, even though there's nothing at the end of the training tunnel.

Under Armour season is coming!

It's hard to believe, but it was just a few months ago that I was whining about running over snow covered sidewalks. If only I knew the heat and humidity that weather karma would throw at me this summer...

Flash forward three months and I've literally run out of layers to strip off while running. I've been down to running shorts and a racerback crop top for weeks now. And I have a limited amount of those, so I then am on a three day wash cycle, which really makes life enjoyable. Also, not to be completely disgusting (eh i'm halfway there), but I'm not a gal that glows when I work out. Nope. I'm dripping in sweat and wiping my face off while I'm waiting to cross at stoplights. Gone are the days (in the dead of winter) when I could just run and go to the gym afterwards. If I want to do that now I require a quick shower and an outfit change.

So you can only imagine my excitement when I walked out of work today in a cardigan and skirt and felt....chilly. I practically skipped home in excitement. The possibilities for running attire were endless. I have never been so happy to dig a long sleeved technical tee out of the bottom of my drawer.

I haven't had a run this good in a while...the humidity was low, I had plenty of fabric to wipe my face with and I even had a breeze going over the river as I ran across the bridges. Just when I thought life couldn't get any better, it had cooled off so much by the time I ran home that I was able to wear a hoodie to run errands. A. HOODIE. This is huge, people. The days of running tights, reflective zip ups and a hat and gloves are not far away. I couldn't be more excited.

Namaste

I am the definition of a type-A personality. Oldest child, was president of my (well our, co-blogger Ange was also on exec board...fun fact du jour) sorority, took on two majors and a minor in college because "hey i'm already here dropping $40 grand a year why not make the most of it?", LOVE being busy and rushing from one thing to another.

While this is all well and good, I fully realize the downside of my crazed, overly involved, probably too competitive self. I'm impatient. I'm easily frustrated, by myself and others. I hate not having anything to do for more than an hour. I always need to be doing something productive and I despise situations where I'm not in control.

Where does this all tie into running?

I'm way frustrated with my current running state. I feel slow, out of shape and just blah. I'm sick of the heat, humidity and thunderstorms messing with my ability to get a quality run in after work. I find myself getting more and more agitated when other people pass me while running (granted these people are wearing tanks proclaiming their status on a local college's cross country team, but nonetheless). I focus on stupid work problems (which aren't even problems, I just blow them out of proportion in my head and then replay situations over and over) and end up carrying a lot of tension in my back and shoulders and running too fast too soon and tuckering out early.

It's bad.

In the hot yoga class I took on Monday the instructor mentioned something that stuck with me...you never want to get to the point with your workout where you feel like it's a chore. You HAVE to go to yoga. Or you HAVE to run, just to cross it off the day's checklist and move on to the next task on the to-do list. You should look at it as an opportunity to continue improving. (Sidenote, I just re-read that and good God do I sound like a white liberal yuppie. Sheesh.)

So today I tried a more relaxed approach. I accepted that my legs felt like jello 2 miles in. And that my ipod was stuck and refused to a) increase in volume and b) wouldn't skip songs. Ok, running to Van Morrison at a soft volume it is. Even though that makes me want to nap, not run fast. Totally fine. Keep on going. Also accepted the humidity reaching thick oppressive levels. Can't do anything about that. Keep on trucking. Before I knew it, my run was over. It didn't feel like a chore. It was one part of my training program. And tomorrow is another.

Someone tell me how to get this on my ipod...

Original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-OqYZC1DA&feature=player_embedded

Last week I admitted to running to songs about unintended pregnancies, now I want to run to autotune songs about attempted rape.

It is 1998 on my ipod.

Week 2 of the corporate challenge is already off to a solid start for me. I'm doing much better with fitting my runs in, remembering to hydrate throughout the day and perhaps most importantly, 82 degrees feels like a cool fall night compared to last week's consecutive 90+ degree days. In short, life is good and I'm crusing along according to the training plan (first six weeks here).

So since I haven't dry heaved while running for a few days (totally just jinxed myself), let's move on to more important matters. Running music and playlists. I'm always curious as to what other people listen to while running and more often than not I'm surprised by the answers. I for one cannot run to a slow song. I need a quick pace, it needs to be loud and bonus points if it's a song I can easily lip synch to while running (a habit I am completely unable to break). Also, gangsta rap more often than not finds its way onto the playlists...something about bitches and hos just really gets me moving.

However, the most recent playlist I've been listening to for most of the summer has very few current songs [except for Drake, who is my new music obsession] and instead is taking me back in time to middle school. Here is a sampling:

-Semisonic - Singing in My Sleep, Never You Mind, Completely Pleased, This Will be My Year
-Everclear - So Much for the Afterglow, Amphetamine, Heroin Girl, Santa Monica, Nehalem, Sunflowers
-Third Eye Blind - Losing a Whole Year, 10 Days Late, 1000 Julys, Graduate, Burning Man
-Counting Crows - Mr. Jones, Angels of the Silences
-Hootie and the Blowfish - I Go Blind, Only Wanna Be With You
-Will Smith - Gettin' Jiggy With it
-LFO - Every Other Time


After seeing all these hanging out together, some thoughts:

*Everclear/Third Eye Blind were the angsty teen phase...I still remember driving my first car and blasting the cassette tapes in fits of MOM DOESN'T GET IT rage. Now they're great for taking my frustrations out by pounding out a few miles on the pavement. Old age.
*I'm going to sound like an idiot, but I honestly never put two and two together of what 10 Days Late was about until googling the song lyrics just now...uh awkward. Go on everyone, download songs about unintended pregnancies! Makes for great running music! Seriously though, it is a good song, all possible schsmortions aside.
*Semisonic was so much more than just Closing Time.
*Counting Crows will never leave my ipod.
*Will Smith...don't pretend like you don't want to do the gettin jiggy with it dance right now.
*LFO...better known for Summer Girls, but this song has the classic lyric "keep it up homegirl don't you quit you know the way you scream is the ultimate."

So now that I've divulged all my guilty pleasure running songs...spill. What are yours? Are you able to run to just about anything? Or do you need an upbeat tempo to keep you going?

Heat and Humidity Disgusts Me

I don't know what changed in the last year, but I am convinced my body's core temperature has changed. I am now permanently overheated. This creates problems (as you can imagine) when running in the extreme heat and humidity we've been dealing with as of late. During the winter I would tag my posts with "I can't wait to run in a wifebeater and shorts again." Hell no. I would run 16 miles right now (I'm trying to summon the energy to shower, to give you an idea of my current lack of motivation state) if it meant I could do so in weather requiring gloves, a hat and enough Under Armour to outfit a third world country.

This has made my runs...interesting. I've been trying to run slower to let my body deal with the heat, but sometimes that's not even enough. I end up having to take walk breaks and occasionally spitting out phlegm (gross, I know) just to be a be able to breathe enough. And then there are days like Tuesday, when I end up just completely wanting to curl up in a ball and die rather than finish my run. After 3 miles of dry heaving and spitting I nearly had a stomach disaster in the last mile, coming thisclose to puking outside of a Dairy Queen. The only thing that stopped me was seeing the family of four hanging out in their four door sedan, enjoying what they thought was going to be a lovely after dinner treat. The poor kids' eyes got as big as saucers when I dodged into the side street and bent over. So I didn't. But the result didn't make my stomach much happier.

The biggest frustration is that I know what I need to do...hydrate more, further in advance. I need to spread my extreme water consumption over the course of the day, not chug a gallon when I get home from work and hope for the best. So after three days of the corporate challenge, that's where I stand...trying to remember how to prepare for running in the heat. Is it fall yet?

Run Til I'm Fun

Remember how this thing all started. Running til I'm fun. Getting rid of my frustrations. That's kinda how today's run went. Day three of the corporate challenge and I'm finally remembering why I love this so much. Because some how, some way, running calms me down.

It's not always long lasting, but at least for a few moments I really feel at piece. My runs are like venting. They start out strong and I'm essentially sprinting and fuming, running to angry rap songs and cursing along with them. Then I hit a point where I stop caring, things come into perspective and I start to feel better. I'm either getting tired and start focusing on running, or my inner rant ends and something else grabs my attention. Some days its other runners or cute apartments. Somehow I find myself playing the "I could totally live in this neighborhood" game. Or I should come back here with so and so, they would love this park. Everything just calms down and I finally understand what it's all about. Essentially it's all about me (god isn't that the slogan for one of those weird tshirts that everyone rocked in junior high).

Anyway, one of the things I'm known for is "Ange time." It drives everyone I know crazy, but essentially I cut myself off from the outside world. I shut off my phone and stop checking email. I seclude myself and just do whatever I'm in the mood for. Sometimes I watch crappy tv, sometimes I go shopping by myself, sometimes I cook, sometimes I just sit in my bed and zone out. It's weird, it's frustrating for others, but I love it. You see I'm constantly talking to people. I email and text and talk on the phone and bbm and tweet and facebook and blog and well you get the point. I'm in a constant state of communication and sometimes I just love to stop everything.

But I've noticed that whenever I'm running, my desire for Ange time slips away. I'm content. I get my peaceful state of being alone. I get lost in my thoughts. And today I finally starting feeling all of that. And while the run itself was slow and sloppy, the "Ange-time" was amazing.

I'm probably taking a rest day tomorrow, but I'll get my last run of the week in over the weekend and of course I'll keep you all updated.

Also, in case you all don't already know. Co-blogger sarah turns 24 tomorrow (Thursday). So feel free to shower her in happy birthday comments :)